The sea: ranked

Google lets you leave reviews of the sea so obviously we wanted to know which was best

6th April 2018

Google is a wonderful tool for so many reasons. You can find out information in heartbeat that may have taken days or weeks to find out prior to the internet.

However, arguably the best feature of Google is the review feature of Google Maps where you can find user reviews of towns, cities, shops, restaurants, bars… and even seas, apparently.

Never before has reviewing become so easy, and it seems never before have so many people gathered in an online community to express their love, hate, disgust, sadness and anger towards bodies of water.

With that in mind, we have ranked 10 of the world’s seas, as decided by Google reviewers (scores out of five), and discovered some of the most unexpectedly genuine, poetic and heart-breaking reviews to grace the cesspool which we call “internet”. And some jokes.

Prepare for an emotional rollercoaster.

Tasman Sea: 3.7

The deadliest sea you’ve never heard of

Live – Topic: “That guy who tried to kayak across it died. Sea 1 man 0.”

Paula TikiTour: “Lovely marginal sea that presents somewhat of a challenge for swimmers who would rather not drown. Knocking off one star for that time it tried to kill my boyfriend.”

PeculateGaming Minecraft and More!!: “Almost got ate by a shark”

North Sea: 4.1

Yorkslad: “The north sea is wet. Very changeable. Friendly at times with moments of anger. When it’s like that best to step back and observe from a distance.”

Tim Brow: “an ok sea (would rather it there than not)”

andy ph: “Cold wet and deep, may see the odd Russian submarine also”

Bay of Biscay: 4.2

 Bae of Biscay

Bruno Francillon: “A breath of fresh air at the Spanish tip!”

Mike Balab: “the most beautiful of the world ocean”

Davy Cabourg: “pretty nice frame”

Arabian Sea: 4.3

“Surreal” — Arabian Sea

Advaith Kamath: “A beautiful sea. One can experience peace and serenity here and also observe beautiful natural sights.”

Lionel Quinny: “Great view. All in all a surreal experience. Always makes you think about past, future and everything in between”

Himani Sharma: “Very clean, safe, peasant. Crowd is cool.”

Dead Sea: 4.3

I sea dead people

mr bean salzman: “This place is samazing so amazing you just float on the water,I have a skin condition that as soon as I went in to those waters and it is so soothing was worth it for that I recommend if. You have arthritis you should definitely go”

Bry7530: “A great place to visit but saltier than my ex wife.”

Nate Byers: “They need to do more to liven up the place”

Celtic Sea: 4.3

Reece fleet: “It was well cold”

Laurent Bernard: “Beautiful landscape where the sea and the wind reign. 50 shades of blue and green blend with transparency. Walks at any season and in any weather are a source of wonder. Go there and enjoy.”

Tomasz Kaszuba: “Stormy like the Irish”

Caspian Sea: 4.3

“Kittens” — Caspian Sea

S M: “Beautiful lake, Biggest lake in the world with delicious aquatics.Very nice place for getting relax in holidays.”

Reena Basu: “The beautiful place in India” (it is worth noting that the Caspian Sea is hundreds of miles from India)

Annika Maia: “my son drowned”

Thomas Dobbertin: “OMG! This Sea is FULL of Kittens! Like seriously it’s filled to the brim. You should go here and see for yourself.”

Bay of Bengal: 4.3

“Heart throbbing” — Bay of Bengal

Surprio ananda: “It was an beautiful experience to see the blue sky and water melting together”

nazmul alam: “Kuakata beach sun rises Red crab, fresh fish awesome”

Mahesh Kumar: “nice cool and calm beach… Heart throbbing experience being here.”

Baltic Sea: 4.5

Looks bloody Baltic

James Prigmore: “Can’t imagine what they would do without it. Unless they just created a new country there called ‘Baltic.’ I’d be a citizen if they wanted. I have many skills to offer a new country such as rudimentary carpentry and the ability to work in a team.”

Stas Krupenia: “Saw a seal here. Was nice.”

Roy Molloy: “Beautiful calm sea. It didn’t look too deep but still don’t fancy my chances gettin across it without a ferry or canoe or whatever. Respect”

Mediterranean Sea: 4.5

“Wet” — Mediterranean Sea

James Bush: “It was a bit salty and wet…plus there are also a lot of waves. It’s not very private either, there was many other people and fish… On the plus side, it is lovely and warm and is a very useful element in the circle of life!!”

Mostafa Tohamy: “Nice but not so clean”

Wendy Brown Karp: “It’s a big ol toilet I always say”

6th April 2018